APRON STRINGS & WINGS

03 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by arcecil in challenges of motherhood, leaving a legacy, the healing journey

Tags

Family, Modeling the faith, Praying for our children, spirituality

(Photo: C. Lawton)

Many years ago when my children were playing about my feet, I wrote in my journal, “The desire of my heart is that my children live happy and full lives.” I thought of all the ways in which they could be nurtured so that they would have wings one day. I could encourage them, help them develop their talents, discipline them and pray for them. Then I realized one of the most important things I could do for my children was to model a happy and full life. In many regards, this last idea seemed like the most challenging of all the ideas I had that day.

As my children would need help on their journeys, I too have needed Someone to nurture me. There is a scripture that holds the answer: “Repent and be baptized, everyone of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for whom the Lord will call” (Acts 2:38-39).

(Photo: C. Lawton)

We are able to live out the best-possible legacy for our children because, as Christians, our sins have been forgiven! Our past sins can be the weight we pull behind us. Thinking on them can result in unhappiness. And as we have been forgiven, we are to forgive. If we don’t forgive those injustices that have been committed against us, that will become the weight we pull. We are forgiven and we are enabled by God to forgive. This then becomes the undergriding for a happy life with wings.

The second sentence tells us by entering in, we receive the Holy Spirit. He is the One who nurtures us. The Holy Spirit spoke to me that day when, after writing the journal entry, I realized the importance of modeling a happy and full life for my children. The work of the Holy Spirit refines our thinking, sifting out all those lies that make for unhappiness. He also helps us develop our spiritual gifts. Then our children can see a mom who is happy as she uses her talents for the benefit of others (Matthew 25:14-30).

Lastly, the above scripture directly links us with our children, for the scripture says: “The promise is for you and your children…” The promises God has given to us are more readily realized in the lives of our children when they are able to witness them in a mom who has embraced them. We cannot fake happiness; our children are great detectors of anything fake. We will never be perfect moms. (To project ourselves in such a way is to create another kind of burden!) But by the day-to-day, slow-and-steady work of the Lord in our lives, we can be moms who are able to give our children apron strings when they are needed, and who are then able to give them wings when the time comes. They can be confident in their ability to grow wings because their mom has a pair.

~ A.R. Cecil

Something Good Out of This

06 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by arcecil in childhood memories, generational patterns, rejecting lies, the healing journey

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Tags

authentic relationship, spirituality

(Photo: C. Lawton)

Revisiting our past: does it serve any good purpose? Our pasts are part of our stories. We can’t cut out the parts we don’t like and throw them away. Would we cut them out, if we could? I wouldn’t. I can’t imagine who I would have become without the disappointments and setbacks; I can’t imagine who I would have become without God working for good in all the disappointments and setbacks.

We may need to do some sorting. While I wouldn’t cut out any of my past and throw it away, I have needed to sort falsehoods from truth. In other words, we need not take everything from our childhood and accept it as truth just because it happened or was spoken. If, for example, we were always told the name for a rose is “daisy,” then one day we will need to relearn this falsehood so we can function in the real world. Yes, a rose by any name smells just as sweet; but the wrong name would cause confusion at the florist. We need truth on our side in order to function in the real world.

We may need to ask some questions. Did childhood lessons on the need to be a good child and sacrificially give, contribute to an overly acute sense of right and wrong? On the other hand, did a lack of training result in a “free spirit” that now roams the world seeking an anchor? Did the elephant of generational dysfunction stand in the middle of the living room forcing you to live with your back against a wall? Was your childhood a false oasis of perfection? When you stepped into the real world, were you shocked and unprepared? Or were Christian principles taught, but they were presented in a skewed way or simply not lived out by those in authority? Was the message so mixed that you have become too perplexed to even know where to begin to enter into an authentic relationship with God? Are hurts and fears now blocking the way?

Sort, yes; but give it all to God. God uses all of the details of our stories—even details of childhood abuse, neglect or trauma—for his glory. Individuals who suffered under those conditions carry an increased burden, but God can use that increased burden. God’s Word provides clear evidence that Moses, David and Paul carried the effects of their childhood into their adulthood. A baby in a basket, a lonely shepherd boy, and a Pharisee’s prodigy were all used by God. In fact, God’s plan for Moses was advanced by his childhood in Pharaoh’s home; God’s plan for David was advanced by the isolated life he lived in the protection of his father’s sheep while his brothers were off being warriors; and God’s plan for Paul was advanced because he spent his childhood steeped in the Old Testament scriptures.

God can use our stories too; “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). By the grace of God, we can overcome. And when we do, our deliverance will result in God’s glory. I can think of no better motivation for overcoming than a desire to bring glory to God with our lives. We can grind our heels into all the pain and confusion of our pasts and declare: “Something good is going to come out of this!”

~ A.R. Cecil