I was worried. I was going to have Baby #2. But how could I possibly love another child like my first?
I had a two-year-old girl who had changed my life. I stopped working full time so I could stay home with her and take care of her. She got a lot of undivided attention! My parents moved close by from out of state to be near this red-haired baby. We mysteriously got more out-of-town visitors after we had a baby, too. My husband accepted a new job right around the time of her birth which brought in a better income and included insurance coverage for the family. Our whole world had changed.
Now there was to be a boy. How was I going to love him as much as my girl? Would she feel left out when I had a newborn to take care of? Would she feel just as loved as before? Would I be able to split my motherly love between two?
My second baby was so different from his sister. He was actually a much easier newborn. He slept through the night much sooner and was a happy baby. No wonder – he had lots of attention and help from his sister! He is a boy – and people have commented many times that he is ALL BOY! And our girl is quite the girly girl who likes best to wear glittery dresses and high-heeled shoes. She is artistic and creative and can always come up with ideas for what to do. She just loves to be with people. She uses great vocabulary words and can express herself very well. Our boy loves to dig in the sandbox and play with Legos and cars and trucks. Basically, he loves to be physical. Even now, I had to take a give-him-attention break to keep him from climbing all over me. But the most important thing to me? Our kids play well together. They love each other and they express it openly by saying so.
My kids know that I love them. I make a point to be sure that they know that – with hugs and kisses, with spending one-on-one time with them, making healthy dinners, reading together, saying prayers together, and going on walks, etc. If my parenting skills fall short, I will apologize and remind them that I love them. Even though I know there’s room for improvement on my part, they should feel pretty secure about that!
Of course, my anxiety was all for naught. For I found, that instead of needing to split my love between the two, God just made my heart grow bigger!
I just love how God mysteriously makes our hearts bigger and bigger. I thought I was done ‘having kids’ until we opened our home to Pedro, the exchange student who lived with us for a short term stay a few years ago. He is now like a son to me and my heart has been stretched and enlarged as a result. Thanks for your beautiful reminder of the miracle of motherly love.