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Journeys To Mother Love

~ Encouragement and healing in mother/child relationships

Journeys To Mother Love

Tag Archives: life stages

I Don’t Know About Tomorrow

10 Friday May 2013

Posted by Catherine Lawton in childhood memories, God as our parent, losing mom too soon, the healing journey

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God's faithfulness, God's promises, life stages, Mother's Day

Cosmos flowers against a blazing sunset

Mother’s Day is always on a Sunday, and many of my memories of my mother happened on Sundays at church. I practically grew up in church. Often on Sunday mornings, from my perch on a front pew, I’d watch Mother rise from the piano bench to stand behind the pulpit and minister in song with her beautiful soprano voice.

Mother would give a brief testimony of God’s sustaining grace in her life, then convey the music and words of the song with a such a sweet spirit that hearts were softened and prepared to receive Daddy’s biblical message. As Mother sang, she’d often lift one hand in testimony to the words of the song, because she was finding them true in her own life. That was certainly the case when she sang one of her favorites: “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow.”

In Journeys to Mother Love I shared briefly about the fire that burned our house down in the middle of the night when I was four years old, and the resulting trauma I experienced, as well as God’s wonderful provision and healing. I didn’t have space in the book to tell more background of how the Lord prepared Mother for that trial and assured her of his love and presence even as we walked through the flames.

The night of the fire our parents had taken my little sister and me with them to a campmeeting service. In that service a soloist stood and sang a wonderful new song with such anointing that throughout the auditorium people wiped tears from their eyes. Mother was deeply touched and, as she went to sleep that night, the words of the song rang in her mind as if God himself were speaking them to her:

I don’t know about tomorrow; I just live from day to day.

I don’t borrow from its sunshine, for its skies may turn to gray.

I don’t worry o’er the future, for I know what Jesus said;

And today I’ll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead.

… And the path that is my portion may be through the flame or flood;

But His presence goes before me, and I’m covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow I don’t seem to understand;

But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.

–words and music by Ira F. Stanphill

Later that night, the one who grabbed my hand and held it tight as we fled fearfully through the burning house was my mother. And the One who held her hand, and had given her an assurance of that only a few hours earlier, was her heavenly Father.

I’m glad Mother was there in my childhood and youth. The One who walked beside her knew about the cancer and suffering and death that lay ahead for her. He knew we would lose her so young. But what she experienced and testified to and taught us continues to hold true for me as I move into uncertainties of my older years: He knows! He holds tomorrow in His hands. And He will continue to hold my hand.

~ Cathy Lawton

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THE BLESSING COMES BACK

31 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by arcecil in challenges of motherhood, Parenting, the healing journey

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

kids leaving home, letting go, life stages, Mothering

"Songs of Innocence"

A hand-colored illustration by William Blake to accompany his poem “Songs of Innocence,” published in 1789

(A Poem)

Naively, I thought that the innocent babe in my arms
would always be mine to hold.
The child who ran to me with an injured knee
was completely content to receive my comfort.
I thought that I had all the answers.
Now I cling to the memory of that window of time
when I was able to show you a mother’s
humble attempt at sharing love, values, and beliefs.

In your mind, you have closed childhood’s door. As a result,
you are a million miles away.
It seems as if I cannot reach you.
All my words bounce back to me,
like balls in a game.
Are you playing games with me now
that you are taller than me?
Your contemplative silence feels like a game to me.

In your adulthood, you have become someone else.
Who is this person, who stands before me?
I—who bore you, fed you, trained you—
shouldn’t I have some say?
But, here you stand before me; you are your own person.
And I must wonder: other than bringing you
into the world and helping you grow physically,
what role did I play?

The circumstances of your life moved you
many miles away.
I cannot hug you.
Every day I wonder: What are you doing?
Who are you meeting? Helping?
Where is your life taking you?
Did you think this through
when you let distance determine our destinies?
Do you, like me, reminisce about the good ole days when we
lived in sweet simplicity?

You stand before me; you are a fully-orbed individual.
Your thoughts are laid out for me
like building blocks of all that is noble and true.
Your heart pours out with rivers of love,
which are far greater than the stream
that was mine to give.
I am blessed beyond measure to be your mother.

~ Alice Cecil

(Note: The narrator is one of many mothers who knows God’s grace on her journey.)

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The Gift of Faith

26 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by Kerry Luksic in childhood memories, the healing journey, when mom has alzheimer's

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Family, future hope, life stages, mother and daughter

A child praying

My mother wasn’t a big talker. She was too busy for idle chit chat—she was raising a small army of children. In my New Jersey hometown, Mom was a living legend, an incredible woman who spent her days raising 13 children. No, that’s not a typo—13!

From sun up to sundown, she was always working—baking five dozen of her famous chocolate chip cookies, finishing the lace hem of one of my sisters’ prom dresses, and juggling the daily carpools of after-school activities. Weeks would fly by in the daily flurry of activity. But no matter how busy life got, Mom always found time for God.

As a family, Mom had countless rituals to foster our faith. From saying grace before meals and requiring us to attend 7am Sunday mass to enrolling us in Catholic elementary and high school, she showed me and my 12 siblings that faith was the foundation of our family.

And with her steady stream of faith-based encouragement, Mom taught me to turn to prayer in any challenge I faced—no matter how trivial the challenge was.

On many occasions, as a young girl, I’d cry in desperation, “Mom, I’m going to fail my math test.”

“No, you’re not. Study some more and ask God for help—say some prayers ,” she’d reply.

As a moody 15-year old, I’d shriek, “Mom, I can’t find my necklace. I lost it. It’s gone forever. My life is over!”

“Say a few Hail Mary’s and don’t forget to pray to St. Anthony,” she’d suggest.

No matter what the situation was, Mom knew the answer, and most of the time that answer was found in faith. Through her lifelong encouragement of prayer, Mom taught me that God could fix all my “little problems,” and proved to me how faith could be a source of infinite strength.

When my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer during my senior year of high school, Mom remained the steady rock for my unstable family. Six months later when Dad died, Mom leaned on her faith and was unbreakable.

As I felt my heart break into a million pieces, and as I cried bitter tears of regret for all that was left unsaid between my father and me, Mom refused to shed one tear. Instead, she picked up the pieces in my shattered family—attending daily mass, saying the rosary, and maintaining her life-must-go-on attitude.

During those dark days, Mom’s unflinching faith became the source light. I watched my mom and knew that if she could keep moving forward despite having just lost her husband of 35 years—then so could I. Mom knew that we needed to celebrate my father’s life—instead of crumbling in despair.

Mom’s lifelong example of faith has proven to be one of her greatest gifts to me. When she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease eight years ago, I was devastated. I felt angry with God for “letting this” happen to her. But in time, I learned to follow Mom’s example—accept the things I can’t change, to let go of my fears, and to rely on my faith to cope with the heartbreak of Alzheimer’s—seeing someone you love slip away before your eyes.

Alzheimer’s isn’t an easy road for anyone. But by reflecting on my mother’s lesson of faith, I’ve learned to be present in her world and to savor the joyful moments I have with her.

Yes, it’s true—Alzheimer’s has stolen pieces of Mom from me. But I choose to focus on what remains, instead of what is missing. I treasure the gift of faith she bestowed on me. And I strive to pass this incredible gift along to my daughters.

~ Kerry Luksic

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Mother Loss ~ Grieving and Growing

18 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Catherine Lawton in childhood memories, encouraging each other, leaving a legacy, losing mom too soon

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

future hope, life and death, life stages, mother and daughter

Catherine and her mother

My mother and me many years ago

     One time I got a haircut then went home and looked in the mirror. The first, unbidden word that popped into my mind was, “Mother.” It surprised me. I didn’t expect to see my mother in my own reflection.
     There is so much of our mothers in us. At different stages of life we may fight that truth, deny it, or even embrace it.
  • As a small child, I longed to be like Mother. Compared to me, she seemed powerful, persuasive and capable. I craved the ability to play the piano as she did. I wanted to be liked by people, listened to, and considered “the life of the party” as she was. I wanted a man to adore me as my father adored her.
  • As a teen, my view of Mother changed. Her flaws and foibles grew large in my eyes. I was critical of her. I didn’t always appreciate her advice. I did not think I wanted to be like her.
  • As a young mother, I found myself saying the same words to my children that she used to say to me and my sister. As my children grew, I saw more and more that she had been right in most of her advice; and her foibles began to look more like strengths. I began to appreciate how she had overcome so much.
  • In my middle age, I have wished she was still here so I could ask for her advice and learn more about “how she did it.” I have many times sensed her cheering me on as part of the “great cloud of witnesses” described in Hebrews 12:1.
  • In old age, I think I’m going to feel more and more that Mother and I are kindred spirits, sisters in the Lord. I’ll be filled with hope as I think of seeing her again, and as I recall how she overcame that last earthly challenge and our final enemy – death.
     For a few years after Mother died, I was overwhelmed with memories of the suffering she endured from cancer, and with my own feelings of loss. So much grieving! Many years later it’s wonderful to be able to think of Mother as a fellow traveler who has reached the goal ahead of me, is expecting me to arrive in God’s time, and through her words lingering in my mind, her example and her prayers, is encouraging me on the last stretch of my upward climb.
     When my mother passed from this life to the next (lying in a hospital bed), she was looking straight upward, fixedly, and with a look of wonder exclaiming, “Oh, it’s so beautiful.”
     I want to live the way she died—looking upward, with my eyes fixed on Jesus, focusing on beauty, truth, and the goodness of God.

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  • arcecil
    • The Imperfect Job of Mothering
    • Storing Away Christmas ~ THE GOD BOX
    • Who Am I?
    • THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT
    • STAIRCASE TO A BETTER PLACE AND TIME
    • What? You Can’t Stop Crying
  • ardisanelson
    • A Mother’s Day Gift to my Sons
    • Sharing our Stories in Community
    • A Grateful Lesson in Letting go of our Children
    • The Blessing of ‘Imperfect’ Children
    • “You’re Just Like Your Mother”
    • A Journey to Brother Love, Part 2
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    • We Come Trembling
    • New Beginnings
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    • Loneliness
    • What? You Can’t Stop Crying
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    • A Mother’s Legacy
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  • guestmom
    • Forgiving Yourself — and Your Children
    • If Your Child is a Prodigal
    • Helicopter Mom, You’re Creating a Draft
  • Kerry Luksic
    • The Gift of Faith
  • kyleen228
    • Dreading Mother’s Day
    • “Mom-ness”
    • The Power of Sharing Your Deepest Secrets 
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    • Walking In Faith Through Adoption
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  • Christina
    • Grandma’s Apron
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    • A Letter to Mom
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