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Journeys To Mother Love

~ Encouragement and healing in mother/child relationships

Journeys To Mother Love

Category Archives: when tragedy hits

The Law of Love

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by Catherine Lawton in Adopted children, forgiving yourself, God's healing love, healing after abortion, losing mom too soon, stepmom relationship, the healing journey, when tragedy hits

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Abortion, Forgiving yourself, future hope, God the Father, Great Commandment, Healing love, Miracle Baby, Post-Abortion Healing

"Death Was Cheated" - newspaper clipping

Ellen Cardwell, a “miracle” baby “born” after her mother died

Is the pre-born baby a “person” created by God with a soul that will live forever? Two of the stories in Journeys to Mother Love touch on this subject.

Ellen Cardwell shares the story of how her mother died suddenly while taking a Sunday afternoon stroll when she was pregnant full-term with Ellen. A popular attitude of the times was that the unborn baby should be left to die with the mother. A caring doctor, though, performed an emergency operation on the deceased mother and took the baby out, resuscitating her to life. The story appeared on the front page of the Oakland Tribune (see photo above).

For Ellen, the mother/child relational healing she experienced later, had to do with relating to and forgiving her stepmother, who had led Ellen to believe she was her birth mother.

In another memoir included in Journeys to Mother Love, Kyleen Stevenson-Braxton tells how, as a frightened, pregnant college student, she chose abortion—and then the resulting emotional pain, cancer, and barrenness she experienced when, in a loving marriage, she longed for children.

The mother/child healing aspect of Kyleen’s story had to do with her “relationship” with the unborn, aborted child who she came to think of as a person with a name; with her relationship with her stepchild; and with her own need to forgive herself.

These are both powerful stories. They show how important to God is every person he creates. And though we are called “mortal beings” because our bodies will die, there is a part of us that will not die. These stories also show that we are each individuals but tied together with bonds stronger than death.

When it comes to personhood and abortion, I believe we should vote and work for just and biblical laws. But I also believe that man’s law and God’s law are not the same. It is a worthy goal to want man’s laws to be based on God’s laws. But it is not the main goal. Jesus said that he came to fulfill the law. And he said that the greatest commandment was to love (see Matthew 22:37-39). When we love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, we also love what he has created.

I’m thankful the doctor in Oakland, California honored God and the life he created when he allowed Ellen to be “born”; and I’m thankful for the love and forgiveness the Lord has given Ellen for her mother and stepmother, and for the hope she has of fellowship with them in Heaven.

I’m also thankful that God the Father welcomes into his presence the babies aborted and robbed of a life on earth. And he has shown his love for Kyleen by giving to her children to adopt and love as well as peace concerning the child conceived in her own body, whom she anticipates meeting face to face in Heaven.

The second part of Jesus’ great commandment is that we “love our neighbors as ourselves.” When we live by that law of love — and see our mothers and our children as our “neighbors” — our stories are transformed.

~Catherine Lawton

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Mothers Weeping for their Children

17 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Catherine Lawton in God's healing love, the healing journey, when tragedy hits

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Child Jesus, Christian spirituality, Christmas, future hope

English: child Jesus with the virgin Mary, wit...

Update: Dec. 2013 — Another school shooting — this time in my home state of Colorado — and it’s Christmastime again —and another mother’s child is dead. Reminds me of just a year ago when I wrote this as a response to the awful Sandy Hook school shooting…

How can a mother be consoled when her little child is taken from her? Perhaps a mother in Sandy Hook, Connecticut hurried her son or daughter to school that morning a year ago, with a little scolding and a few reminders and a quick kiss on the cheek … only to be informed a few hours later that her child has fallen dead with her first-grade class, victims in a senseless, bloody massacre.

How can any of us wrap our minds around this? Since it is Christmas, we listen for words of comfort. We usually only hear the beautiful music, the softness of the Christmas story: angel wings, starlight, sweet-smelling hay, swaddling cloths, wooly sheep, gently falling snow, Mary cuddling the baby, cattle lowing, shepherds worshiping.

Usually in reading the Christmas story from the Gospels, we skip, gloss over, don’t talk to the kids about the part where Herod massacres all the children age two and under. Babies. Infants. Toddlers. Mothers’ children. Slaughtered. Blood running and pooling. Mothers wailing, unable to be consoled. (See Matthew 2:16-18.)

But the angels announce, “Glory to God in the highest, peace on earth, good will to men,” spoken to a world where evil holds sway and often has its way … this world into which the Christ child was born. According to the prophet, his name is “Emmanuel” which means “God is with us.” The son of God, who is all goodness, light, life, love … broke into this kingdom oppressed by sin and evil. Why? To shine into the darkness. To reveal a better way that is lived by faith with hope. A kingdom of grace and love and children fully alive. A kingdom he will fully restore one day soon.

Then, when horrible deeds jar us into acknowledging the presence and power of evil in our midst, how do we respond? Even as we walk through the darkness, surrounded by those who react in fear, hate, blame, we can:

Allow the light of Jesus, the living Word, to shine his light of truth on our path, showing us where to step next.

Use the resources he has given us through his Holy Spirit, to resist and overcome evil (both inward and outward).

Let God use us to shine his light and dispel the darkness around us. We do this by prayers of faith, praise, speaking the truth of Christ, creating and sharing beauty, making music, showing love and compassion. Then, “The light shines in darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it” (John 1:5).

And when we hear the cries of tragically bereaved mothers who cannot be consoled, we cry with them, stand with them, hope for them.

We do all this because “God is with us.” Emmanuel.

~ Catherine Lawton

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“Mother” was Only a Vague Memory

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Catherine Lawton in Adopted children, childhood memories, emotional needs, God's healing love, leaving a legacy, losing mom too soon, when tragedy hits

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Tags

Christian novel, Christmas, Grandparent, Holidays, Modeling the faith

White-As-Snow-Cover-Kindle

For this fictional character, Charlie, a boy on the Colorado Frontier in 1862, “mother” was a vague memory. An orphan, he was raised by his grandparents on a small ranch at the foot of the Colorado Rocky Mountains. As a youth now, just coming of age, his Grandma has died and his Grandpa lies dying in their two-room cabin. Charlie feels all alone with winter approaching and no one to celebrate Christmas with. He misses Grandma and longs for the mother he never knew. He has to do the work of a man to prepare for winter; but he is not quite up to it.

He also longs to prove himself and foolishly takes Grandpa’s huge rifle out to hunt for food. Fortunately his Grandma left him a legacy of faith. And, as Charlie is tested beyond his abilities, and things look dire, divine help shows up in the form of a gigantic and mysterious mountain man.

This is the first book in a series of four Christian novels set in 1800s Colorado Frontier. White As Snow is a heartwarming Christmas story. And it is FREE in the Amazon Kindle Store this week!

~ Catherine Lawton

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Gaining Perspective

08 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by Catherine Lawton in childhood memories, emotional needs, the healing journey, when tragedy hits

≈ 4 Comments

Posing in front of the burned-out house

Cathy (r.), with her mom and little sister in front of the burned-out house, showing off new dresses they were given, after losing everything they owned

So much depends on perspective. Part of maturity is learning to see situations from another person’s perspective.

For instance, in Journeys to Mother Love I wrote about the time our house burned down in the night and we barely escaped with our lives. My memories and perspective of the fire are those of the four-year-old child I was at the time. Walking through the flames, and later poking through the ashes, left real trauma and fear in my psyche. But the whole experience built real faith in my parents! And their busyness—re-establishing a home while planting a church—didn’t leave much room for helping their quiet little girl with her emotional needs. My parents’ call to ministry was the over-arching purpose and focus of our lives. They had committed their lives to the Lord and the church, and he would take care of us.

One week after Journeys to Mother Love was published, I was rummaging in my mother’s old cedar chest and found a letter she wrote soon after the fire. At the time, Mother was a 24-year-old pastor’s wife, and the mom of 2 preschoolers, living in California. It was the 1950s. Here is what she wrote to her parents back “home” in Colorado:

Dearest Daddy & Mother,

I’m sitting here at the table eating my breakfast…

Yesterday was the organization day for our church. We had 52 in Sunday School and about 60 for the church service (in our living room). It was wonderful. Our house was really crowded. Rev. Brown and his family were here to organize the church. It was thrilling.

God has certainly blessed us since the fire. It seems like the blessings have already out-weighed the terrible calamity. All the churches on the district took up offerings for us. A man at Central Church gave us a beautiful chrome dinette set…. We’re going to use the money we’ve received to buy some of the things we lost, such as a mixer, pen & pencil set, toaster, lamps, etc. … We never realized that we had so many wonderful friends and that people were so good – even complete strangers.

The baby pictures were all ruined. Do you suppose you could visit the different places we had them taken and see if they will make us some more? …

We’re going to get a settlement on the insurance which we’ll use to start building our new church. People have joked with us about starting the fire, the way things have worked out so well. We just know God has made the best of it and is using it for his glory.

We all still have a terrible dread of another fire and feel very strange at night when we go to bed. The sound of a fire engine sends cold chills up me now. I never did like the sound anyway and you know how I’ve always been so afraid of fire….

Well, I’ve got to go and get busy.

All our love,

Talk about perspective. I didn’t know Mother had such a fear of fire, or that she felt “very strange at night” when we all went to bed. I only remember my own childhood fear, panic and feelings of helplessness, and my parents’ preoccupation with the church work.

The fire wasn’t the only trial the Lord brought us through. And he is still “bringing me through”—giving me new perspectives.

Have you gained the perspective of viewing your story through the eyes of another person (perhaps your mother)?

~ Catherine Lawton

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    • The Imperfect Job of Mothering
    • Storing Away Christmas ~ THE GOD BOX
    • Who Am I?
    • THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT
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    • What? You Can’t Stop Crying
  • ardisanelson
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    • Sharing our Stories in Community
    • A Grateful Lesson in Letting go of our Children
    • The Blessing of ‘Imperfect’ Children
    • “You’re Just Like Your Mother”
    • A Journey to Brother Love, Part 2
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    • Grandma’s Apron
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    • A Letter to Mom
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