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Journeys To Mother Love

~ Encouragement and healing in mother/child relationships

Journeys To Mother Love

Category Archives: leaving a legacy

Walking My Father Home, Part 1

14 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by ardisanelson in generations coming together, leaving a legacy

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Ardis as a young child with her father

Ardis as a young child with her father

My father died at the age of 94, just six weeks before “Journeys to Mother Love” was released. I had hoped he would be able to see the finished book before he passed, but that didn’t happen.

Dad was of the generation that didn’t ever discuss emotions or shower people with compliments. Matters of family were best kept to ourselves. And although he openly shared the stories of his life with anyone in earshot, he definitely didn’t have any desire to have his stories published.

Years before I ever had the thought of becoming a writer, I tried to get my father to document his stories on the computer. I even bought him a book about how to leave a written legacy for our family. He wanted no part of that. Instead he appointed me family historian. I took notes of our conversations and recorded our talks.

His health deteriorated quickly in the last few months. He was frail. His eyes were failing. It was hard for him to concentrate for very long. He spent most of his days in bed. I thought his health would prevent him reading my story. He had no idea I was even writing it.

I had shared with Dad about the healing I had experienced in my relationship with my mother before she died. Mom and Dad had been divorced for 40 years, but he seemed to have an interest in my relationship with her. He was very proud of how my brothers and I cared for her in her final years.

During this visit in February, I prayed that my father would be open to my telling this story more publicly. I prayed for the words and the right time to tell him, and for a way for him to somehow read this story before it was too late. God answered all those prayers.

My father expressed surprise at hearing of my writing and interest in how this all came about. I loaded the electronic file of the manuscript with a very large font on his computer. He surprised me by staying up late and read the entire story in one sitting.

His words of affirmation of my writing and the story were an incredible gift—from a man who rarely gave a compliment. When the time came to edit the manuscript, the publisher requested more background information about my mother. I had more conversations with my father and found the missing pieces that I needed to add to the story.

There’s more to this story. I’ll share the rest in my next post.

Until then, we’d love to hear your story or comments.

~ Ardis A. Nelson

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Our Common Interests

02 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by vernahsimms in childhood memories, generations coming together, leaving a legacy

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Family

Generations coming together

Verna and her great-grandson

Despite over eighty years difference in our ages, my great-grandson, Luke, and I have a surprising amount of common interests. We both have a passion for water—whether wading ankle deep in the shallow crystal-clear creeks flowing in Missouri—watching minnows, or splashing in the rivers and swimming pools.

We both enjoy making crude figures from colored play dough, playing pretend and hiding from imaginary foes. He squeals in delight as I press a button on one of his modern toys and jump when it gives forth talking or loud noises of some sort.  I explain to him how my home works; and he is equally quick to tell me, when a particular toy doesn’t respond to my touch, that it needs batteries!

But most of all we love to talk!

One day as we were visiting, celebrating his 2 1/2 year birthday, we stopped to wash our hands together in the low sink in their guest bathroom. I soaped my hands and rubbed them together making a lather and then joined the two hands together and blew a bubble through the opening. “When I was a little girl I used to blow bubbles by cupping my hands like this,” I said.

Luke looked into my eyes and smiled, “When I was a little boy, I rubbed my hands together and made bubbles like this.” He blew into his cupped hands and a wee bubble appeared.

Yes, we enjoy each others’ company. As I returned his smile, I let my mind travel to the distant future and made a silent prayer in my heart that when he reaches the ripe old age of 83 he will remember me and share with his grandchildren about our fun days together and tell them, “When I was a little boy …”

~ Verna Hill Simms

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