Note: Many of the contributors in “Journeys to Mother Love” share about forgiving their mothers and receiving healing from childhood experiences, which has helped them in mothering their own children. Kyleen is one who felt the need to forgive herself before she could find freedom to be the mother her children needed.
Part of my personal story was first published in Deliver Me, by Diane E. Butts. When that book came out, I received an email from a fellow contributor. She commented that she and another pregnancy center volunteer had cried when they read my story. She told me, “To share your story so openly is God’s gift to you.” She then went on to talk about how most women are afraid to tell their stories. They fear judgment, both of themselves and their families.
The most unexpected thing I have discovered is that sharing my story has provoked kindness from others. Whenever I speak, there is always at least one woman who comes up and tells me she understands my pain because she has been there too. One blogger posted that he or she found me “naive.” But truly, in almost seven years of sharing my story at churches and conferences, and in print, that is the most “negative” comment I have received.
I cannot change the past. All I can do is take what I have experienced and try to use it to help others. While the message out there says abortion doesn’t hurt women, my experience says exactly the opposite. I realize that not every woman regrets an abortion, but for those who do, the pain can be almost unbearable and the consequences very real. My hope is that through reading or hearing my story, a woman might recognize herself in my struggles and realize there is hope.The first step is admitting to yourself that you have been hurt by a past abortion and there is a need for healing to occur. Once you invite God into that most tender place of failure, you will be amazed at how he can turn even the thing you fear the most into your greatest testimony.
If you want more on this topic, visit my blog at http://singobarrenwoman.wordpress.com/.