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Journeys To Mother Love

~ Encouragement and healing in mother/child relationships

Journeys To Mother Love

Monthly Archives: August 2012

Come to the Table

23 Thursday Aug 2012

Posted by arcecil in childhood memories, expectations, family gatherings

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The table is set

All of our journeys begin in childhood and we often revisit that magical time as memories surface unsolicited. Childhood memories are pulled back into our consciousness by sights and sounds and smells. Autumn leaves crunching under our feet will forever be a stroll home from school. The smell of cedar or pine when entering a warm house from the cold outside may transport us back to a childhood Christmas. In a sudden downpour, we see a child dancing in the rain. We recognize this child, a phantom of our yesteryear. The smell of chlorine and sunscreen is a carefree summer’s day at the pool between third and fourth grade when we finally got up enough courage to go off the high dive. “Look at me-e-e-e,” our squeal told the world on the way down. Crickets chirping outside our bedroom window after nightfall was a childhood lullaby.

Our most endearing memories, however, can easily be the extended family gatherings that brought together the grandparents, aunts, uncles and, of course, the beloved cousins. “Absence does make the heart grow fonder,” as those uncontaminated relationships with the cousins epitomized all that could possibly be right with the world. The adults would be huddled around the kitchen table after the plates had been cleared away, drinking strong coffee and talking and laughing. The cousins would then steal away. No telling what adventure awaited us in the attic, or under Grandmother’s old bed. We children never got to hear a word the grown-ups said; that was adult talk, not meant for our ears. We didn’t care back then; playing was our passion. If we could go back, we would listen in on their conversation. Dad was there; Mom was there talking and interacting with their peers. If we could see them now through the eyes of the adults we have become, what would we see? What would we hear?

There is usually one member in every family of the attic dwellers who in his or her adulthood puts together a family tree. (My brother, the oldest sibling, was the one who put ours together.) But, the family tree is only a skeleton of our past. Those laughing and talking people around the kitchen table were the flesh and blood. However, would hearing their interpretations add that much meaning to our present and future? Would who they were be that significant in revealing the persons we have become? We may rightfully feel that their interaction with us has stamped us in some negative way, which has put us on a mission to find out who we really are.

“Who am I?” we may have pondered at an age when we wanted answers. The stacks of how-to books purchased by the need-to-know generations post-World War II, were read in hopes of finding the answers to why we think what we think and do what we do; but did they scratch the surface of our souls? Not mine. One day, I took the lot of them to Goodwill, but not without feeling a wee bit guilt for “unloading” them on some other unsuspecting fellow seekers of truth.

Time and so many dead-ends have taught me that there is ONLY ONE WAY we can arrive at the place of knowing the persons God intends us to be. “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us” (1 Corinthians 2: 10b-12). We are believers and we have God’s spirit living in us! And now as his BELOVED CHILDREN, we can come to his table where we feast on life-changing knowledge.

~ A.R. Cecil

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Mother Love

17 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by Christina in emotional needs, expectations, forgiving mom, God's healing love, importance of prayer, mother wounds, reconciliation, the healing journey

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Life is like a Ferris wheel going round and round, repeating itself over and over, sometimes you find yourself on the top looking out over your life. You think, ‘This is good; I could go on like this forever.’ But as soon as you get really comfortable with that thought, you feel yourself slowly slipping over the edge, descending toward some unknown yet familiar pit that consumes you until you feel the wheel slowly ascending to the top again.

I read this passage with its beautiful imagery in Katie’s Choice, a novel by Tracey Langford. The character in her story thinks about the seasons of the year, like football and Thanksgiving and Easter and how these event staples in our lives reliably return year by year. I picture each “car” of the Ferris wheel carrying people who enter and sometimes exit our lives, but have still been a part of the ride or journey. And who we have, for better or worse, developed a relationship with. Sometimes those relationships also go through a similar pattern—up and down, seeing a promising future and then feeling like we can’t connect well.

But there is one relationship that was always there. One that started before we were born. One we felt and treasured in our own limited way, even in the beginning: The one with our mother.

This site is dedicated to that Mother Love, even when it takes a round-about journey to get there. I believe that a complete healing and wholeness can be found in any mother-child relationship, even if you thought it was too late.

That is the premise of the collection of stories written by nine women in Journeys to Mother Love: Nine Women Tell their Stories of Forgiveness & Healing, compiled by Catherine Lawton and published by Cladach Publishing (www.cladach.com). No matter what your background, you will find yourself drawn to these stories and be able to relate to many of the feelings, experiences, and challenges these women have faced. And maybe, like them, you will find more healing and closure through God’s love, forgiveness and peace than you ever imagined!

Here are the stories in the book:

1. FEELING INADEQUATE:
Run, Run as Fast as You Can by A.R. Cecil

2.  DEVASTATED by VIOLENCE and SEPARATION:
She Did Her Best by Treva Brown

3.  ALWAYS “SECOND FIDDLE”:
Take Care of Your Mother by Verna Hill Simms

4.  ADJUSTING to CHANGES in MOM:
Finding the Blessings in Alzheimer’s by Kerry Luksic

5.  AFTER ABORTION and CANCER:
Beauty from Barrenness by Kyleen Stevenson-Braxton

6.  UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS:
When I Feel Forsaken by Catherine Lawton

7.  STEPMOTHER BLUES:
Finishing Well by Ellen Cardwell

8.  DISTANCED by a MENTAL DISORDER:
Walking My Mother Home by Ardis A. Nelson

9.  ANGRY and FRUSTRATED with MOM:
White Knuckles by Loritta Slayton

Do you have a wonderful relationship with your mom and/or your children today? We hope you do! And we would love to hear your story, too. You are not alone! This is a place to connect and to share. A place where you can find Christians who have gone through similar struggles … or are still going through them.

Whether you are looking at life from the upside or the downside, God cares. And so do we.

~ Christina Slike

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  • arcecil's avatar arcecil
    • The Imperfect Job of Mothering
    • Storing Away Christmas ~ THE GOD BOX
    • Who Am I?
    • THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT
    • STAIRCASE TO A BETTER PLACE AND TIME
    • What? You Can’t Stop Crying
  • ardisanelson's avatar ardisanelson
    • A Mother’s Day Gift to my Sons
    • Sharing our Stories in Community
    • A Grateful Lesson in Letting go of our Children
    • The Blessing of ‘Imperfect’ Children
    • “You’re Just Like Your Mother”
    • A Journey to Brother Love, Part 2
  • Catherine Lawton's avatar Catherine Lawton
    • A Soapy Tasting Memory on Mother’s Day
    • We Come Trembling
    • New Beginnings
    • Living Wounds
    • Loneliness
    • What? You Can’t Stop Crying
  • finishingwell2's avatar finishingwell2
    • Mom’s Cooking
    • Always a Mother
    • Postscript to “Finishing Well”
    • Perfect Parenting
  • good2bfree's avatar good2bfree
    • A Mother’s Legacy
    • Grace to Broken Mamas on Mother’s Day
  • guestmom's avatar guestmom
    • If Your Child is a Prodigal
    • Forgiving Yourself — and Your Children
    • Helicopter Mom, You’re Creating a Draft
  • Kerry Luksic's avatar Kerry Luksic
    • The Gift of Faith
  • kyleen228's avatar kyleen228
    • Dreading Mother’s Day
    • “Mom-ness”
    • The Power of Sharing Your Deepest Secrets 
    • Adopted Siblings ~ A Special Closeness
    • Walking In Faith Through Adoption
    • Honesty about Our Struggles is the Best Way to Help Each Other
  • lorittaslayton's avatar lorittaslayton
  • Christina's avatar Christina
    • Grandma’s Apron
    • Much Ado about Nothing but Love
    • Mother Love
  • vernahsimms's avatar vernahsimms
    • A Letter to Mom
    • A Gift of Flowers
    • A Game of Love
    • Our Common Interests

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Adopted children challenges of motherhood childhood memories confessing our need emotional needs encouraging each other expectations family gatherings feeling inadequate forgiving mom forgiving yourself frustration to freedom generational patterns generations coming together God's healing love God as our parent Gratitude grief and loss healing after abortion importance of prayer Learning to appreciate Mom leaving a legacy letting go of anger losing mom too soon mother wounds Parenting reach out and touch Remembering Mother the healing journey when tragedy hits

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